Yes that is what I said......Someone decided to endanger my child's life as well as my own and those that are helping us.
This past week has been really hard to deal with. Thank you to those of you that were here to help me hold it together.
I am so furious right now. How in the world can someone do that!!! So, I know that most of you that will read this wont understand.
The first of June with the help of family & friends, I was able to get my daughter and run from my very abusive husband. The abuse (physical, mental and emotional) had been going on for quite a while. I dont talk about it because so many are involved and so much is at stake so to speak.
I ran from an abusive situation, trying to make things work out safely for myself and my daughter. We are having to start over from scratch. All we brought with us was a couple of suitcases. We arent asking for hand outs. I am working as hard as I can and have applied for help at various places as well as for full time work.
I went to court on July 1st and the judge awarded Kaitie and I a 5 year order of protection. Although it is a wonderful to have that legal security we all know that someone can walk right through that and harm will be done. Because of this we have been at a secure location and my number was only given to a few people that were directly involved in the situation. One of those people decided that it was a good idea, apparently, to give my soon to be ex, my number AND location! Even though we have been careful, now we have to watch our backs even more.
My "ex" has repeatedly gone after me over the past few years, for various different reasons....but this last time he physically went after my daughter. There are many out there that will say I am drama, so I will explain what happened on May 21st and you tell me, if I was dramatic in my actions.
That evening we had finished up supper. He was already in a bad mood and I was trying to keep Kaitie from doing anything that would trigger him......she's only 6yrs old! I decided to go ahead and give her her antibiotics and get her to bed before cleaning up after dinner. I had put the glass bottle of meds on the counter and she, not wanting to go to bed and not understanding the tension, decided she was going to help me clear the table and counters. In doing so, she knocked the bottle of meds off the counter and it shattered....glass and meds went everywhere.... Thats all it took........
He grabbed her under the arms and threw her up against the refrigerator and started barking at her like a drill sergeant. Although it only took me seconds to get to her, it felt like miles between us, I had never been so scared in my life! I was able to get her down and away from him, shouting for her to go to her room and not come out until I told her too. All the while he had gotten hold of me, threw me back and then threw me over the couch, then threw me over a quilt rack, grabbed me and slammed me up against the china hutch and held me there, screaming and yelling at me, calling me every name in the book, I tried to push away he kept slamming my arms with his fists, when I stuggled to get away he balled his right fist and swung at my face.....I turned and ducked my face just enough that it was his elbow that connected with the corner of my left eye, sending my glasses across the room, I dont know how I got loose, but scrambled away to get my glasses and put the huge 3 inch thick solid heavy oak dining table between us.... He never once stopped yelling at me as he slammed his fist into the table and put a huge dent in it, and then hit the 5 globe light fixture above it, shattering glass, bulb and metal on one of the globes. used his fist to punch down on the table and shatter a glass ashtray, side kicked a standing rotating fan and split it in two...... The fighting continued until he got tired and went to sleep.... I went to check on Kaitie and she was crying and hiding under a blanket. She wrapper her arms around me crying saying "Mommy I prayed to the Lord, that he would make my daddy calm down and not hurt you anymore." ....that is when I put into action a plan to get out. Family and friends pitched in and helped us get out.
Over the years he had repeatedly told me that If I ever ran he would hunt me down, take Kaitie and I would never see her again and he would kill anyone that helped or got in the way including myself. He has demonstrated his ability to do harm enough that I do believe he would and will do just that.
So right now I am struggling to make ends meet while we go through this transition. We are having to rely upon a friend to house us and help us with necessities while I try to get sales with my handmade items. All the while I am filling out applications and doing job interviews.
Some have expressed wanting to help out....if you want to help you can make a purchase through my shop at www.MeToYouTreasures.artfire.com or by donation on my blog at the top right corner.
My shop on Artfire will probably be closed by Monday the 15th because I cant afford the monthly fee. So I will be conducting sales through my fan page on FB www.facebook.com/metoyoutreasures
Hopefully, for those that have seen a huge decline in communication and working my biz, you now know why.
All I want is to safely raise and take care of my daughter. I am angry with him for doing this to us and and angry at myself for putting up with this and putting my daughter through this. I am livid that someone I thought was a good friend would go and do something so devastating!
I dont like bringing people down so you dont see posts about this and the pain that comes from it on my FB wall. I was raised to not air out my dirty laundry in public so to speak.
Im not okay, I cry, I hurt, Im scared, but I will go forward. I will make a new life for us. I dont want pitty....your support is more than enough. All I ask is look at those around you... I am positive you have a friend going through something like this. Dont just sit by idle or look away, support them in the best way you can. Keep in mind they are human and have a mind and opinion too, they are hurting and wont ask you for help. Support your local womens/family shelter! In NWArkansas "Peace At Home" shelter has helped me far more than I have ever expected and one day I hope to give back so that they may continue to help people like us.
So, now you know what is going on. Please do not feel that I am excluding people to be mean....I am just trying to stay safe and still have some symbolism of life/living for my daughter.
I pray everyday that I can forgive the "friend" for putting one more stone on our back. I pray that God will help us through. I pray to have a "normal" life for both of us.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
~ Mary~
